When Affirmations Don't Work...


If you follow my work, you probably know that I am a big fan of affirmations. So it might surprise you to know that I'm not always into them.

One day they can instantly evoke a sense of calm and contentment while the next can be so grating and make me cringe at the idea of "thinking positively". For years I struggled with knowing that kind thoughts bring me joy and ease while my mind turned its nose up at every attempt to have "happy thoughts".

I think a huge realisation that has helped me has been to always search for the words that resonate with me in each moment. Words that feel good to me won't necessarily feel good to you. And the words that felt good yesterday, might not feel good today. 

So instead of trying to think your way through affirmations, try feeling your way through them. Take your power back and tailor your affirmations in a way that feel soothing for you.  By noticing how we feel when we think different thoughts, we feel acknowledged rather than feeling not enough for having our current beliefs.

Instead of "I am beautiful", maybe these feels better...

"I don't feel very beautiful right now, but I would like to feel that way one day. Maybe I can just find a few things about myself that I find beautiful and take my time in finding a new definition of beauty that feels good to me".

"There are so many beautiful people in my life and it is less about how they look and more about they make me feel around them. It is a relief to drop the need to look a certain way and to instead focus on expressing my beauty from the inside out".

"My beauty radiates from within".

Or maybe none of those feel great and something as simple as...

"I don't feel very beautiful right now... and that is okay".

If an affirmation doesn't feel great, don't dismiss it completely.  There is usually freedom at the core of things you resist. Instead, create ease around it. Come in from the sides in a gentle way until you have softened the edges enough to move closer. Imagine how beautiful it will feel when you no longer feel have to feel that suffering.

Take yourself exactly as you are and move gently from there.

I would love for you to take a breath right now and to re-write an affirmation in your own words that feels good. And if you feel like sharing it with me, I would love to hear it, as well as anything else you would like to me to write about.  Just leave a comment below or visit my Contact page to send a private message.

Wishing you all a sense of peace and self-love,



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